Thursday, January 7, 2010

Knock, Knock. Anybody home?

After about a week of living in "girls world", and jackass dropping in with donuts and the paper and reading it at MY counter, he finally gave me a letter explaining himself.

Incredibly, he still denied the affair. OK, so that means he lied to my face while looking in my eyes(3 times) and actually wrote the words on paper. So I am thinking, "My God, maybe he isn't having an affair."

I would go over to the house we had moved out of (Oh, I forgot to mention that "her" house and jackass's house are next door to each other) to get stuff from the girls' rooms etc.. or to pick up the dog. Remarkably the house was clean! And guess what? Jackass learned to make his bed AND do the dishes!!!! Oldest stayed over a few times and inbetween the 2 times, she asked me if I had changed the sheets on her bed. "Um, no." She couldn't understand who would hang up her clothes and make her bed when she wasn't there. I told her that Daddy must have hired a maid (or a Ho. Justine that was for you).

Enough was enough. I needed some answers. So one day that I knew the 2 of them weren't working and were "around" I went to find them. I really wanted to find them in bed together so I could sit down on the bed and have a discussion and neither would be able to leave. Sick and perverted, right? Well, I found them at Vi's house. Vi answered the door and said, "Jackass, your wife is here." I said that actually I had really wanted to talk to her.

Jackass came to the door begrudgingly knowing that whatever came out of my mouth wasn't going to be pretty. The 3 of us stood in Vi's teeny kitchen with her 2 dogs. Cozy. I handed Vi a sheet of December activities that included things the girls were doing, parties Jackass and I had been invited to including Jackass' parents annual party and Christmas Eve. I said, "I just wanted to give you this list of all the activities for December now that you are part of the family and all." She stared at me for a few seconds, took the paper and said, "Wow. Thank you, that was really nice." Now Jackass is turning green because he knows I am not being sincere and am being completely SARCASTIC, but Vi is not seeing it that way. She actually thought I was being NICE. Yeah, I am that nice. Come on in, immerse yourself in my family and take over my life. Sure what's not to be grateful and happy about?

The rest of the "conversation" is a bit fuzzy except for parts that stand out like the "How long has this been going on?" question. This they avoided and really wondered why it would help me if I knew and what did it really matter. I said that I NEEDED TO KNOW. "One year" they answered. I'm not sure who answered first and I questioned that the one year hadn't been longer, but they stuck to their guns about this one. Vi asked me if I wanted to take this discussion outside at one point. I was like, "why? Is there something we need to talk about not in front of Jackass?" Or was she going to pummel me like kids did to each other in Junior High behind the bike racks? It was like she was a shrink because she kept saying, "I see that you are angry" "How can we have a discussion if you are so angry?" And Jackass kept saying, "She's angry at me." Um hello, it takes 2 to tango, I was pretty mad at both of you!

I held it together until I left. Jackass followed me over to the horses where my car was. We proceeded to have an unreal discussion about how Jackass was at rock bottom and he didn't know what he was doing. Didn't know what he was doing with her either. I'm thinking "Oh, that's real nice. I am sure she would like to hear that." I told him to buck up and put his smart mind to work and DOWNSIZE. Look at this as an opportunity where he could move to Florida and live on a dude ranch and be warm year round. His dream, my nightmare.

The weird thing was that it was a relief of some sorts to hear them say a year. At least I wasn't imagining things. At least I stood up to her and let her know I wasn't going to make this easy for her. He had lied to me and that is something I do not take lightly. If there had been any chance of us reconciling it went right out the window when I realized that he lied.

What a Jackass.


  1. I am really impressed you had the cajones to force the issue. Too bad jackass doesn't realize how awesome you are or how lucky he was to have you.


  2. Really girl, I don't think "jackass" is quite appropriate the name for him. Dickhead, motherfuckerasshole or something like that might be better.

    But... I'm proud of you for marching over there and being such a sarcastic bitch! How STUPID is that ho that she thought you were sharing your family activities with her? Dumb bitch.

    Justine :o )