Tuesday, January 5, 2010

September 25th

So, after writing that letter, I just let it sit and stew. My own happiness wasn't a good enough reason to leave, I guess. On September 25th, I came home from a wedding (I am a photographer) and my sister in law invited me over for a drink. She sat me on her couch with a glass of wine and a bowl of spaghetti and talked about stupid stuff. Then she said that she had something to tell me and I said, OK.

She got really nervous and told me that her husband, jackass' brother, didn't want her to tell me this. I was like, go ahead, tell me PLEASE! She told me that jackass and vi (barn girl) were having an affair. Instead of bursting into tears and screaming like a banshee (this is what she expected), I said, "Do you have proof?"

She told me this convoluted story that went something like this.... her mom is in a craft circle 1/2 hour away with another lady (let's call her X), X's daughter was at a barn and overheard Vi tell the barn owner that she had been having an affair with her barn owner and mentioned jackass' name. X's daughter told her mother because she thought the last name was familiar. X asked my sil's Mom at craft circle time. Sil's mom said, "Oh that's my son in law's brother." And then it got back to me.

Sil was very upset, but I was actually relieved. Isn't that a weird reaction? This was the truth I had been looking for. I had asked jackass 3 times(over the past year) if he had been having an affair and he DENIED it every single time. I trusted him.

So, the next day, I sleuthed around while he was at work. Called people to see what they had to offer. The majority of people thought he was having an affair, but did not have exact proof. I figured that what I had was good enough. Circumstantial evidence.

I hit him over the head with it. Figuratively, not literally. I told him that the girls and I were leaving because he was having an affair with vi and if he could prove that he wasn't, then I was all ears. He said, "fine if that's what you believe. You can have whatever you want and I will provide for you" and he left the house.

I can tell you that those were the hardest words I have ever said.


  1. But it takes a strong woman to say 'em. You've put up with so much; it was the best thing to do in this situation, for your well-being and for the girls' well-being. xoxo

  2. I'm glad SIL was willing to tell you. That must've been hard for her, too. I think the relief (and validation) you felt wasn't weird in the least bit...it's something that you suspected, felt in your gut, and despite his denials, you couldn't shake the feeling he was lying. Not to be cheesy, but obviously there's something to be said for the phrase "the truth will set you free".

  3. What a dick. He's not even MAN enough to confess to his wrong doing. I am so glad you left. But on the other hand, why did YOU leave? Why not kick HIM out?

    To be perfectly honest with you, if I found out Jimmy was having an affair, I think I'd dance the Can Can.

    Justine :o )

  4. I can't imagine the emotional roller coaster you are riding. I can understand your relief entirely and am just sorry that such a wonderful person has had to endure so much.

  5. Forgot to mention earlier... Sept 25 is my wedding anni. Ewwwwww

  6. It's good that your SIL was able to tell you what she found out. I would want to know too. Now you can work on moving forward.

  7. Oh gosh.

    And I agree. Your sil telling you was probably a really hard thing to do, but she is a good person for being the one to stand up against something that is wrong.